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Fan episode 04
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Geschrieben am 14.06.2011 - 21:55:00
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Hier der Anfang von Episode 4, diesmal noch ohne Titel da ich mir immer noch darüber unklar bin wie es weitergeht, ob ich meine ursprüngliche Idee ausgearbeitet bekomme oder eine andere Richtung einschlagen muss.
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SCENE 1: In the university cafeteria, all four geeks with tablets in their hands, sitting down at a table for lunch.

HOWARD: (Annoyed) Oh come on, Sheldon.
SHELDON: I told you, a deal is a deal. Ferengi Rule of Acquisition No.16.
HOWARD: Not if you cheat me!
SHELDON: I did not cheat you. And may I remind you of Rule of Acquisition No.1?
HOWARD: OK, then tell me: what am I supposed to do with a pocket knife that cannot be opened?
SHELDON: Isn't that what you engineers are here to do? Messing around with things that don't work any more? How could I have assumed this will disturb you?
HOWARD: OK, I have a master's degree from MIT...
SHELDON: And still you're unable to fix the pocket knife? Then I suggest you ask more precise questions in future.
HOWARD: Everybody in the world would assume that a pocket knife can be opened even without explicitly asking because this is necessary (speaking up) to use it!
SHELDON: I am sorry, this statement is wrong. I would not assume it, so there is at least one counterexample.
HOWARD: OK, look. We have to renegotiate things here.
RAJESH: Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach. Rule No. ... (thinking)
SHELDON: (condescendingly) 214 of course. You disappoint me.
LEONARD: OK, can we finally stop citing the Rules of Acquisition? They're just a set of purely fictitious rules for a TV series and they do not apply in real life. Plus we're on Earth, not on Ferenginar.
SHELDON: (Staring at Leonard) Leonard, you absolutlely disappoint me.
LEONARD: And give Howard his money back.
SHELDON: All right, I have to correct my previous statement. Leonard, you infuriate me.
Penny entering and approaching table.
HOWARD: (Whispering) Oh if we just were on Ferenginar now where women are forbidden to wear clothes...
PENNY: Oh guys, good that I found you.
LEONARD: (happily) Hey, Penny. What a nice surprise. What leads you to the treasure of science and knowledge? (Looking around) I mean, I do not specifically refer to this room which is more a treasure of mediocre nutrition than of science, but it is still part of the university that you usually forego so I am just happy and wondering... (pausing) if it wouldn't be wiser and speed things up if I shut up and let you talk.
PENNY: Leonard, can I talk to you in private?
LEONARD: OK, sure. (grins happily, both go a few steps aside) So, what's up?
PENNY: All right, remember when that new girl, Alicia, moved into apartment 5A and how Sheldon reacted to it?
LEONARD: Um, yes. (looks around confused)
PENNY: I fear with what She-who-shall-not-be-named did we'll really have trouble with Sheldon.
LEONARD: Oh no, what happened? Did she change the door locks? (Desparate) Oh that's gonna be nasty. The keys are like Sheldon's little friends. He even talks to them, saying how much he loves them for helping him to keep the rest of the world apart from him. And you know how much he's struggling with making new friends.
PENNY: No, the door locks haven't changed, it's...
LEONARD: No, don't say she really removed the washing machines? Sheldon's anyway more and more whimsical since all those changes have started to occur (turning towards table where Howard and Sheldon are vividly discussing), but if she now also messes up his weekly routines...
PENNY: No, it's even worse than that...
LEONARD: (turning back to Penny) Penny, please, you scare me!
PENNY: She cut off the TV reception for the whole building. No cable TV any more.
LEONARD: (sinking down to his knees, really desparate, crying out loud) Noooo!
Sheldon, Howard and Rajesh turning towards Leonard, looking puzzled.
HOWARD: What's happening over there?
RAJESH: Hm, I go for Penny has a new boyfriend.
HOWARD: No, he's used to that. Maybe she gave up and is moving to a new place?
SHELDON: May I say something? (Rajesh and Howard looking at him) Another example of what to do with a pocket knife that cannot be opened is to use it as paperweight.
Howard sighs and like Rajesh turns back to Leonard and Penny who tries to console Leonard. Leonard gives Sheldon a quick look, then turns away, burying his head in his hands, shaking head.
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Geschrieben am 14.06.2011 - 22:04:30
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RE: Fan episode 04

SCENE 2: All five in front of the door of apartment 4A, Sheldon about to unlock it.

SHELDON: (looking around, puzzled) All right, can I ask a question? What do you all want?
Sheldon opens door and everybody enters apartment.
LEONARD: Hey, why can't we just all join our friend home? (Smiling insecurely)
SHELDON: Tonight is Monday. It is neither Halo nor vintage game night. In fact you all know that today I had my usual mee krob and chicken satay...
HOWARD: ... with extra peanut sauce from Siam Palace.
SHELDON: All right, I do not think that our dispute entitles you to being pert. And you forgot to add the most important thing: that at 8pm I will switch on the Sci-Fi channel to watch the new episode of Stargate Universe. (sits down on his spot, others sit down as well)
PENNY: Hey, and you know, we had this crazy idea, why don't we do a "Anything can happen Monday"? You know like this "Anything can happen Thursday" you guys tried once, and you gave it up way too early...
SHELDON: You are right. This idea is crazy. (wants to take the remote control but Leonard quickly grabs it) Leonard, it's 7:59, time to switch on the TV. (looking around) All right, what kind of cabal are you all plotting? I am like Abraham Lincoln at the East Room, dreaming of my own mourning ceremony, seeing myself in a catafalque.
HOWARD: Listen, why don't we just for once do something different and all go to some nice bar?
SHELDON: You shouldn't go to a bar tonight, because you obviously are already drunk. (To Leonard) And it's 8pm so either switch on the Sci-Fi channel or give me the remote.(very strict) You know that I am serious.
Leonard gets up and goes to the kitchen. Sheldon hesitates, then jumps up and rushes towards Leonard who throws the remote over him, Howard catching it. This "game" goes on for a while.
SHELDON: Why are you bringing back the time of my childhood?
PENNY: (remote control in her hands) You were often being fooled like that as a child?
SHELDON: Almost daily, only the neighbour kids preferred to take a piece of my clothes for it.
PENNY: Oh, that's really nasty. (loosening grip on the remote control, Sheldon quickly grabs it)
SHELDON: (turning to Penny while pushing button to switch TV on) As expected you fell prey to your compassionate side which led you to believe my overly dramatic story and served me the triumph. (pausing) They did it only once or twice a week.
Sheldon realizes there is no TV signal, repeatedly pushing buttons and getting more and more desparate.
LEONARD: OK, Sheldon, sit down, we...
SHELDON: (hardly able to control himself) Whoever did that, it is not funny!
PENNY: Listen, its not our fault, sit down and calm down.
SHELDON: I am supposed to calm down? I already missed (looking at his watch) 50 seconds of Stargate Universe, that means about 460 billion periods of the radiation between the hyperfine levels of the ground state of Caesium-133 have passed without me watching the new episode and you tell me to calm down? 552 billion. 570 billion...
PENNY: Sheldon, the new landlord has cut off cable TV, OK? No damn TV any more for anyone in the whole building.
SHELDON: (sitting down slowly, visibly shocked) No, no, no... What are you saying? Why would you even say that?
PENNY: Honey, please...
SHELDON: (turning to Leonard) Leonard, make her stop! (desparate) Now!
LEONARD: I can't make her stop, I mean, technically speaking I could of course make her stop, why wouldn't I be able to, but...
HOWARD: I'd like to see that... (smiling)
PENNY: OK, I know this is hard for you, but...
SHELDON: Make her stop (turning to Penny) or I will! (looking around, sobbing)
PENNY: But I mean, you do not absolutely need the cable TV. You can still watch DVDs, can't you? And TV programmes you can watch on your computer, even I understood how to do that when Leonard showed me, so where's the big deal? Where's the difference?
SHELDON: (Standing up) I can watch it on my computer? I do not need a TV?
LEONARD, HOWARD: And here we go...
SHELDON: The difference is that a computer is built for performing complex mathematical operations while a TV is built for receiving and watching, surprise, surprise, the TV programme. Just because both have a screen and provide audio-visual output they cannot be used interchangeably. By that logic a lab assistant could go and make bread and the baker mix new plastics in the lab, where's the difference, they're both dressed in white.
PENNY: OK, I'm sorry...
SHELDON: No, no, no, why don't we just follow your advice and give up the entire order of the universe? (rushes to bathroom, comes back with a shaver) Who needs a shaver? I could shave every morning with a Swiss Army knife, where's the difference? (Throwing shaver over his shoulder, then going into kitchen)
HOWARD: If the knife can be opened, he has a point...
SHELDON: And all those plates and bowls, who needs them? Why don't we kindly ask Mrs.Grossinger for feeding dishes and slobber our food and drinks from them like her dog. It's also a mammal, so what's the difference? (pointing towards his whiteboard) Oh, and those whiteboards, I could as well stretch out some bedsheets here and write on them. And then I could strip naked, put them on instead of my clothes and go regulating the traffic by dancing polka in the streets, because who needs traffic lights?
Sheldon rushes to his bedroom and slams door, everybody startling, then after a short moment comes out again, switches the TV off and goes back to his bedroom, slamming door again.
LEONARD: OK, this was really weird. I mean, not just the usual Sheldonian way of weird, no this was really... weird.
PENNY: He's not really going to do any of those things, is he?
LEONARD: I sincerely hope so. But since he doesn't know yet Mrs.Grossinger moved out last week, (looking at the kitchen) I guess I should hide my plates and bowls somewhere...
Rajesh whispering into Howard's ear, both chuckling.
LEONARD: What?
HOWARD: He proposed, in case Sheldon dances polka in the streets, to secretly invite a camera team for the local TV news. Sheldon wouldn't even be able to find it out.
Sheldon comes out of his bedroom once again.
SHELDON: I cannot go to sleep knowing that I left such a mess here. (picking up the shaver from the floor and leaving to his bedroom, everybody visibly confused)
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